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Finding My Way.

Wow... H E L L O! I know its been some time. I'm so sorry for not posting in a while. I've been on a search for a new normal here in New Jersey. I'm so glad to get back to what I love, and that's posting on this blog. I feel like I've finally figured out the purpose of this blog. I decided I want to write about W H A T E V E R is on my mind, heart, and soul. Woah, I know... "You're so emotional Brittané." Yes I am. I'm learning to embrace the way I was made. Anyway, before I get on a rant I wanted to share with you my most recent discovery.

You guessed it! I've discovered that I'm finding my way. I know you're confused. Don't worry I'm going to explain. I'm 24 years old. (Ladies aren't supposed to share their age right? Oh well.) In my mind, I've been grown since the age of 10. You can just ask my mother. I was the little girl who planned out her life. I didn't dream of my wedding day or what my groom would look like, or what our kids would look like. NOPE, none of that. I was the little girl who mapped out my life and all the different stages I would be in by a certain age. You want to hear my plans?

Alright, I'll tell you. Please have mercy on me. I was 10 years old when I decided how my life was going to play out. At the age of 22 I was going to graduate college. At the age of 23 I was going to be engaged to be married or already married. At the age of 24 I was going to start medical school to become a pediatrician. At 28, my husband and I were going to start having children. At 32, I was going to open my own doctor's office. I was going to hire other pediatricians and nurses to work for me. I wanted to only go into the office 3 days a week. The rest of the week I would be a stay at home mom and take care of my 8 children. YES, 8 children... I was 10 years old okay! I really loved and still love kids! This number however has since changed... significantly! This was my life map.

I look at these plans now and just laugh. Life DID NOT go as planned. I didn't graduate college until I was 24 years old. I didn't get married at 23. Still not married. I don't have plans to go back to school as of now, and if I do it probably won't be medical school. It ISN'T going to be medical school. 8 children?! HA! Yeah, okay.

Can anyone out there relate to me? I know I'm not the only one who planned their life. I'm curious to know if anyone who planned their life had it work out perfectly!?

I tell you all of this to show you that life doesn't care about your plans. Life does what it wants, but thats honestly the beauty of it. My plans didn't work out, because they were MY plans, not God's plan. (No, I'm not quoting Drake's song...) I've learned that the only way I was going to find my way was giving "my way" to God. Some of you might not believe what I believe and thats okay! Everyone has their journey they are on! This is mine. My life has proven that I have NO control. I think it is better that way. I probably would've messed it up real bad... I mean 8 children.... HAHA what was I thinking?!

I found it fitting to post this on my 10th anniversary of giving my life to God. My life course completely changed this day 10 years ago. What I viewed as success has since changed. I now consider walking with God to be success, and I've been doing it for 10 years... TEN YEARS. Wow. Don't get me wrong my plans weren't bad, but they only concerned me and what I wanted. What I thought was going to bring ME the most joy. God wanted me to be concerned not only with myself, but with Him and other people. I've learned that I'm only going to find my right way by going God's way. It is exhausting trying to keep up and make my own plans happen. In my opinion, having someone who created me, the universe, and everything in it knows so much better than I do. I have had my ups and downs. Hills and valleys if you will. I've been so low I didn't know how I was going to make it, but God has saved me EVERY time. I've experienced unexplainable joy and peace. God's way did not promise me a cake walk, but neither did my life's plan.

I can not believe where I am today. There is so much I've been through and I can't wait to share some of those things with you all. I did not imagine myself ever leaving the great state of T E X A S. I especially didn't think I would end up in New Jersey, literally working for the Lord. I work for my church by the way, just in case you didn't know.

I can honestly say I am okay with the way my life worked out. Actually, I'm grateful for the way my life has been and the way it will continue to be. I know that it can only be good, because it is God's and God is good.

I'm not sure what the next ten years of life will look like, but the one thing I am sure of is that I'll still be finding my way. No, God's way!

Brightest Regards,

Brittané

xoxo

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 19: 21 (NIV)

"You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail."

Proverbs 19: 21 (NLT)

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